8:41 AM
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On one occasion or another, you're going to take the center stage and give a speech. Whether to inspire people who have lost their hopes or to give lessons to those who are hungry of knowledge, you are expected to speak your mind and deliver clearly what you have to say. We all have our fair shares of stage fright. And public speaking is a real challenge to everyone. But, you have to keep in mind that in every challenge, there is always a way to beat it.
Overcome Fear.One reason you may not belief in yourself is your fear. It could be fear of failure, that if you fail you will lose even more confidence and be an embarrassment. Nothing ventured nothing gain, give yourself the freedom to fail. You do not really fail unless you give up. So long as you continue to do what it takes for you to gain confidence then there is nothing to fear. The beauty is that the more you do the more confident you become. Think about a nine to 12 month old baby who's learning to walk, how the baby eventually has full confidence and enjoys the new found freedom. The more the baby walks the more confident the baby gets.
Act Confident, Feel Good.The interesting thing about our behavior and way of thinking is that the way we think, feel and do affects each other. If you cannot think confidence, then act confident. Worry less, act more. The more you act confident the more confident you will get. You actions will compel you to think confidently. It takes time, but one act builds on another and before you know it, your feeling and thinking will change. The more you act confidently, the better you feel and you will naturally gain confidence.Learn New Things.Huh? You must be thinking, you have no confidence and yet I am suggesting you to learn new things? It's been known to work for some of the people I counseled. Choose a hobby or skill you have always wanted to get into. As a newbie, you start from the ground up, so you get good basics and as you learn and become more proficient you gain more confidence. Learning new things will also unveil insights to yourself and ways on how to gain confidence elsewhere in your life. Try it.
Avoid Toxic People.It's very important to avoid people who are cynical about your attempts at anything. Get away from critics who are just out to bring you down regardless of how hard you did something. For some reason or another, they savor the opportunity to see people achieve less or achieve nothing at all. As if that will make them look better.Gain Support.Just as important to avoid toxic people is to gain support for whatever you are doing. Surround yourself with good encouraging friends. Good friends are like sunshine, soil, fertilizers and water to the confidence seed you are growing.Make A To Do List.Commit to a few things you will do. There is no use reading an article on how to gain confidence if you do not have a plan and commit to it. Commit to gaining confidence. Have a few things you feel doable in the short term and be sure to do them. You want to create a "things you have done well" list. It acts as a confidence builder. They need not be super-duper goals. Just goals you feel good about. Then increase the next goal to be a little more challenging. As you do, achieving goals will become a habit and hence build confidence.Another way that has worked for me is to read motivating materials. It is my way of feeding my mind with positive things and also to know that I am not alone in my quest. Sometimes, no matter how you try to avoid toxic people, no matter how discipline, committed you are, some things will beat you down. Reading or listening to motivating material is like fuel for your quest to gain confidence.
Help Someone.Helping someone makes you feel good. It also allows you to see some of the qualities you have that you may have overlooked. Being able to help someone is a subtle and often overlooked way on how to gain confidence. Think about it, being able to help someone says that you do have some good skills other needs.How to gain confidence? You need not do all of it. Feel free to mix and match. Try different things. The important part is act upon your plan.Have you ever felt the whole world was against you? No matter what you try, you just can't succeed, causing you to have a total lack of self-confidence. You may even feel that way now, but what I am about to share with you should pull you out of that place and into a mindset and feeling of total possibility and success to ensure you boost your self-confidence rapidly.While you feel isolated from everyone else when you are going through this phase with no confidence, within the next few minutes you will learn that you are not alone at all. In fact you will discover that you have more support at your disposal than you thought possible guaranteeing you to build confidence.
Work out - If your lack of self confidence is as a result of body shape, you can have exercises that will help you keep fit and be of the size you want. Working out is not just good for gaining self-confidence it is directly related to many other improvements in your life. Working out can be one of the best and easiest solutions to a low self-confidence!Confidence is a powerful asset to have in the workplace. People who are confident in themselves can expect to be given increased responsibility, leadership opportunities and ultimately more success.
All you need to do is alter your thoughts and views which in turn will turn your emotions and results around 180 degrees. But it's very difficult to do by yourself.You have been to five job interviews and failed to get the job on all occasions. Of course now you have a lack of self confidence and are starting to think negatively about the next job interview. You may start saying things like, "I'm a loser", "I'll never get a job", "I'm not good enough" and so on.Now it will be almost impossible for you to walk into the next job interview with optimistic expectations and be upbeat. Instead you will be thinking "why bother".Reading this now, I'm sure you will agree that it is all so obvious. But take yourself back to some similar situations that you have been in and remember that you too reacted in such a no hope attitude, shutting off the possibility of a positive outcome. It's very hard to turn it around by yourself!
Developing your confidence is no different. I'd love to be able to tell you that you just need to read one article and you'll be confident. In our urgent need to get results fast, we still delude ourselves into believing that we can get things faster than is possible. The fact is, anything you have ever achieved of value, required practice and effort. And it begins with focus.Focus on being more confident. Set aside time every day to work on your confidence. It doesn't need to be very long. But daily effort will supercharge your efforts to be more confident.Change your Thoughts to Improve Your Confidence.As we have mentioned, confidence is an emotion. And emotions are caused by thoughts. Before you can feel sad, you have to have thought a sad thought. Before you can feel happy, you must have had a thought that was happy too. In the same manner, your thoughts can drastically transform your confidence levels, if you take care to think only confident thoughts.
"Wait a minute" you might be saying. How am I supposed to contact them when I am feeling like this (as down as one can feel)? Don't worry, this is much easier than you think.If you choose your coach wisely, you will have done it from the point of trust, love, respect and admiration. Chances are they feel the same way towards you, because over time you have both created an important and very strong friendship/relationship. All you have to do is be open and honest and they will most likely accept your request with open arms.You can simply say something like:"I need your help. I am feeling really down right now and need someone to make me smile". "I'm really lacking confidence right now and need someone to snap me out of these negative thoughts I'm having, do you mind helping?"The more open and honest you are, the more likely they will accept and do everything they can to help you out. People love to help others. It makes them feel good to know they have contributed to someone and they get praised, which makes them also feel special.
So all you have to do once they accept to help is,Make sure you are willing to listen, learn and change your points of view. All you want to achieve out of this is a snap out of your negative thoughts to alter your feeling as a confidence builder. It doesn't matter so much if they are right or not with whatever they say, just be open and willing to accept a fresh point of view to make this transition successful. It won't help at all if you are in denial and every time they say something that goes against your beliefs, you snap back at them saying they are wrong. Right and wrong does not matter right now. Getting you out of your emotional downtime is the only issue. Praise them like mad, but be genuine. That way, they will feel good, knowing that you really respect their time and words of advice and will be very willing to help you again should you fall into the same emotional downtime again.Don't forget, you are NOT alone when you feel the world is against you and you have no confidence. Go to your "coaches" and use them to pull you out of the emotional downtime and move on confidently.
Overcome Fear.One reason you may not belief in yourself is your fear. It could be fear of failure, that if you fail you will lose even more confidence and be an embarrassment. Nothing ventured nothing gain, give yourself the freedom to fail. You do not really fail unless you give up. So long as you continue to do what it takes for you to gain confidence then there is nothing to fear. The beauty is that the more you do the more confident you become. Think about a nine to 12 month old baby who's learning to walk, how the baby eventually has full confidence and enjoys the new found freedom. The more the baby walks the more confident the baby gets.
Act Confident, Feel Good.The interesting thing about our behavior and way of thinking is that the way we think, feel and do affects each other. If you cannot think confidence, then act confident. Worry less, act more. The more you act confident the more confident you will get. You actions will compel you to think confidently. It takes time, but one act builds on another and before you know it, your feeling and thinking will change. The more you act confidently, the better you feel and you will naturally gain confidence.Learn New Things.Huh? You must be thinking, you have no confidence and yet I am suggesting you to learn new things? It's been known to work for some of the people I counseled. Choose a hobby or skill you have always wanted to get into. As a newbie, you start from the ground up, so you get good basics and as you learn and become more proficient you gain more confidence. Learning new things will also unveil insights to yourself and ways on how to gain confidence elsewhere in your life. Try it.
Avoid Toxic People.It's very important to avoid people who are cynical about your attempts at anything. Get away from critics who are just out to bring you down regardless of how hard you did something. For some reason or another, they savor the opportunity to see people achieve less or achieve nothing at all. As if that will make them look better.Gain Support.Just as important to avoid toxic people is to gain support for whatever you are doing. Surround yourself with good encouraging friends. Good friends are like sunshine, soil, fertilizers and water to the confidence seed you are growing.Make A To Do List.Commit to a few things you will do. There is no use reading an article on how to gain confidence if you do not have a plan and commit to it. Commit to gaining confidence. Have a few things you feel doable in the short term and be sure to do them. You want to create a "things you have done well" list. It acts as a confidence builder. They need not be super-duper goals. Just goals you feel good about. Then increase the next goal to be a little more challenging. As you do, achieving goals will become a habit and hence build confidence.Another way that has worked for me is to read motivating materials. It is my way of feeding my mind with positive things and also to know that I am not alone in my quest. Sometimes, no matter how you try to avoid toxic people, no matter how discipline, committed you are, some things will beat you down. Reading or listening to motivating material is like fuel for your quest to gain confidence.
Help Someone.Helping someone makes you feel good. It also allows you to see some of the qualities you have that you may have overlooked. Being able to help someone is a subtle and often overlooked way on how to gain confidence. Think about it, being able to help someone says that you do have some good skills other needs.How to gain confidence? You need not do all of it. Feel free to mix and match. Try different things. The important part is act upon your plan.Have you ever felt the whole world was against you? No matter what you try, you just can't succeed, causing you to have a total lack of self-confidence. You may even feel that way now, but what I am about to share with you should pull you out of that place and into a mindset and feeling of total possibility and success to ensure you boost your self-confidence rapidly.While you feel isolated from everyone else when you are going through this phase with no confidence, within the next few minutes you will learn that you are not alone at all. In fact you will discover that you have more support at your disposal than you thought possible guaranteeing you to build confidence.
Work out - If your lack of self confidence is as a result of body shape, you can have exercises that will help you keep fit and be of the size you want. Working out is not just good for gaining self-confidence it is directly related to many other improvements in your life. Working out can be one of the best and easiest solutions to a low self-confidence!Confidence is a powerful asset to have in the workplace. People who are confident in themselves can expect to be given increased responsibility, leadership opportunities and ultimately more success.
All you need to do is alter your thoughts and views which in turn will turn your emotions and results around 180 degrees. But it's very difficult to do by yourself.You have been to five job interviews and failed to get the job on all occasions. Of course now you have a lack of self confidence and are starting to think negatively about the next job interview. You may start saying things like, "I'm a loser", "I'll never get a job", "I'm not good enough" and so on.Now it will be almost impossible for you to walk into the next job interview with optimistic expectations and be upbeat. Instead you will be thinking "why bother".Reading this now, I'm sure you will agree that it is all so obvious. But take yourself back to some similar situations that you have been in and remember that you too reacted in such a no hope attitude, shutting off the possibility of a positive outcome. It's very hard to turn it around by yourself!
Developing your confidence is no different. I'd love to be able to tell you that you just need to read one article and you'll be confident. In our urgent need to get results fast, we still delude ourselves into believing that we can get things faster than is possible. The fact is, anything you have ever achieved of value, required practice and effort. And it begins with focus.Focus on being more confident. Set aside time every day to work on your confidence. It doesn't need to be very long. But daily effort will supercharge your efforts to be more confident.Change your Thoughts to Improve Your Confidence.As we have mentioned, confidence is an emotion. And emotions are caused by thoughts. Before you can feel sad, you have to have thought a sad thought. Before you can feel happy, you must have had a thought that was happy too. In the same manner, your thoughts can drastically transform your confidence levels, if you take care to think only confident thoughts.
"Wait a minute" you might be saying. How am I supposed to contact them when I am feeling like this (as down as one can feel)? Don't worry, this is much easier than you think.If you choose your coach wisely, you will have done it from the point of trust, love, respect and admiration. Chances are they feel the same way towards you, because over time you have both created an important and very strong friendship/relationship. All you have to do is be open and honest and they will most likely accept your request with open arms.You can simply say something like:"I need your help. I am feeling really down right now and need someone to make me smile". "I'm really lacking confidence right now and need someone to snap me out of these negative thoughts I'm having, do you mind helping?"The more open and honest you are, the more likely they will accept and do everything they can to help you out. People love to help others. It makes them feel good to know they have contributed to someone and they get praised, which makes them also feel special.
So all you have to do once they accept to help is,Make sure you are willing to listen, learn and change your points of view. All you want to achieve out of this is a snap out of your negative thoughts to alter your feeling as a confidence builder. It doesn't matter so much if they are right or not with whatever they say, just be open and willing to accept a fresh point of view to make this transition successful. It won't help at all if you are in denial and every time they say something that goes against your beliefs, you snap back at them saying they are wrong. Right and wrong does not matter right now. Getting you out of your emotional downtime is the only issue. Praise them like mad, but be genuine. That way, they will feel good, knowing that you really respect their time and words of advice and will be very willing to help you again should you fall into the same emotional downtime again.Don't forget, you are NOT alone when you feel the world is against you and you have no confidence. Go to your "coaches" and use them to pull you out of the emotional downtime and move on confidently.
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