Monday, July 15, 2013

12 Steps To Overcoming Shyness With The Opposite Sex

By William M. Norton


Getting rid of your shyness may seem impossible but with a little effort and the desire to be more outgoing with the opposite sex then you can definitely overcome shyness. It is important to know that the fears you feel when shyness hits you is typically always much worse than the reality of the situation. Fake it until you make it! This is an infamous saying in the sales world.It is a great way to start teaching yourself new behavioral habits.

Ask yourself why you are shy. Be honest with yourself. What are your real fears? What do you think people see when they talk with you? Yes, this will take effort on your part by reading books on the subject or listening to motivational tapes, but it works!

Learn to relax.Shyness and social anxiety often go hand in hand with an inability to relax.Relaxation is something that we seem to find harder to do as we get older but it's actually quite easy to get back into the habit.Whether you do something simple like a breathing exercise or you prefer to just lie down and listen to some relaxing music matters less than actually taking the time out to relax.Then make a mental note of the state of your mind when you're in deep relaxation and bring that state back to life when you find yourself in a situation that you'd previously have found stressful.

Dress to impress even if nobody is looking. Iron those clothes! Keep that hair neat! In other words, always look your best. This does amazing things to help you feel better about yourself and overcome shyness.Start projects in life that make you feel good. Start a personal project, totally clean up your house clutter and your car. Work on a new hobby. How can these things help you with overcoming shyness? Simple by working on things that make you feel good produces a natural aphrodisiac that turns you on and which indirectly turns on people around you.

One way to boost your self-confidence is to always look your best. Looking great makes you feel great and does wonders for your self-esteem.Reduce your fear of rejection by always imagining the worst outcome possible in every social situation. Then if the outcome is less traumatic than you imagine, you won't dwell on the rejection near as much. Observing strangers and acquaintances and how they relate to others can be a great tool in learning how to overcome shyness.If you are having difficulty overcoming shyness, join clubs or go to events that interest you. It's a lot more comfortable to engage in conversations with those who have common interests.

Combat your fears of rejections by realizing that everyone gets rejected at one point or another, everyone! Learn not to take rejection personally. Use it as a tool.Be honest and up front!... tell people that you are shy up front, be honest with them. You will not believe just how nervous and shy the other person is as well.Last but certainly not least. pray to God. Share your shyness with God and ask as him for the strength and courage to overcome it.

Sometimes it seems that the task of overcoming shyness is insurmountable. Every time you find yourself in a strange situation, you just instinctively want to disappear into a hole in the ground - not that there's a convenient hole in the neighborhood of course. Check out these tips for overcoming shyness.

According to professionals in social psychology, being shy means that an individual experiences apprehension or feelings of discomfort and/or awkwardness when in the same area as others, or when approached by other people. These feelings are often enhanced when in social situations, unfamiliar locations or around people who are unfamiliar. While it is common for everyone to experience shyness at least once in their life to a small degree, many individuals experience it to such a high degree that it results in social anxiety and/or phobias related to social situations, events and experiences. In its most severe forms, individuals that experience shyness may find that it interferes with their personal and professional relationships and hinders them to one degree or another. While many refer to therapy and even anti-anxiety medications to overcome shyness, simply learning to communicate better has also been found to be an effective strategy in overcoming shyness. Not only is this strategy less expensive than therapy and medication, it is also much safer.

When learning to communicate better in order to overcome shyness, it is important to understand the main root causes associated with shyness. The first potential cause is a low self-image. The second root cause is a high pre-occupation with what we are doing, thinking and feeling. The third is engaging in the act of labeling yourself as shy. When learning to communicate better, you will discover that you should not and are not expected to take full responsibility for the conversations that you engage in with others. Communication is an act of expressing thoughts, feelings, ideas and emotions with others while receiving information from that person in return, and vice versa. By simply avoiding taking full responsibility for the conversation and knowing that all the attention is not just on you, you will be taking large strides in overcoming shyness due to insecurities. Remember, the person you are communicating with is likely just as nervous as you are.

In order to communicate better, you must know what the person you are talking to is most interested in. I know this sounds challenging, but it is really quite simple - they are most interested in themselves and what they consider to be important to them. Remember to use the other person's name frequently and ask a lot of questions. Allow the other person to communicate freely and openly about what they want to express to you. Remember to listen and place the emphasis on the person that you are speaking to. By taking these steps, you are taking the pressure and focus off of yourself and inadvertently placing it on them - which should increase your self-confidence and motivation. This will make you an attractive person to talk to and interact with. Overcoming shyness does not have to be a challenging endeavor. Simply take the focus away from your negative thoughts about yourself and your insecurities and place it on the person you are talking with. It is then that you will truly start to communicate better.




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