Thursday, October 10, 2013

Tips On How To Gain Self Confidence

By Marvin R. Wilcox


We all want to become more confident and feel good about ourselves so we can live our very best life. Here are some ways to gain confidence and raise self-esteem:Do something that requires a decision and a follow-through.Have you been putting off writing that letter to aunt Martha? Is there a friend you've been meaning to call? Wash the car, tidy the garden or clean the house. You'll gain confidence by setting goals (even small ones) and following through on them.Enjoy something you do well.

Imagine you are at a public gathering and you have really low self confidence at that point in time. You come home and you feel really bad because you thought you where judged by other people. Your best friend James, thought the same thing when he came home. Judith thought exactly the same thing. The point is, people care more about themselves than they care about you. So inevitably don't care what other people think of you. You are not put on this planet to please all. It's OK to fail, it's OK to be different, it's OK to do what you feel is right for you!

Allow being judged. This is something that can be really hard, but guess what. In order to boost self confidence to great heights, you must be able to do things your way and be OK with other people disliking what you do. Again, almost everybody in the world judges people, I judge people for sure. If somebody tells me that I am something negative that I know I am. Let's say ugly, or fat... I can simply laugh it off and say, "So what, I can't change my genes and this is the way I am, do you have something else you want to judge me by, please get it off your chest?". See there is nothing a person can say to you that you can't counter in one way or another. Have really strong beliefs. The two tips above come down to one thing and that is having a strong self belief and solid ground in your confidence. There are many exercises you can take in order to really learn how to gain self confidence. You must get your beliefs in order first, otherwise you will always have a doubt in your mind somewhere. People are experts at destroying their own beliefs by having negative thoughts. STOP negative thoughts now.

Writing your goals down on paper. People who fail will write their goals down once, look at them, put pen and paper down and then forget about it. People who have learnt how to gain self confidence proceed with their goals and never ever quit. I know this may sound harsh right now, but quitters remain quitters until they believe they can be winners. Be a winner.Be a winner. Even if you lose at one point in time be a winner. Even if somebody totally humiliates you, you are a winner. Why? Simply because everybody is a winner. Everybody is good at something. The reason you have low self confidence is because you have been programmed to believe something that isn't true... at all. Maybe people around you have told you that you are worthless or too stupid to do something. Guess what, you are not, you are a winner. You are a winner because you know that if you set your mind to do something you will obtain this goal. You have done it before, every single time. You just don't know it.

The practice of meditation has gained popularity for this reason. You might want to look into Tai Chi, which involves physical relaxation techniques.Whatever method you decide on, take relaxation seriously. The benefits are just too great to ignore. If you've never considered relaxation important, think of it this way: if you can attend to something that results in feeling good, how can you not gain confidence in your personal abilities?

Patience. Learning how to gain self confidence is like fishing with a fishing rod, in a way. Let me explain. have you ever tried to fish with a fishing rod and you see something happen. You reel in to see if something happened. You find the fish has broke lose. You get pissed and throw it back in the water. This happens 5-10 times before you catch anything. In the mean time your friend is pulling up the fish every single time and he is laughing of joy. He is patient... he knows that when the fish bites, it takes a little bit of time before the hook is 100% attached. The point here is that, if something doesn't work for you, throw the rod back in and try again. When you want to give up the most, you know you are the closest!

Confident people automatically "take the bull by the horns", without even thinking about it. When confident people don't like something, they change it.On the other hand, people who are not confident tend to struggle with making changes, but if they wish to lead an enjoyable and comfortable life, then they will need to learn how to gain confidence to make the required changes.

Second, speak with confidence. Picture yourself talking with a very close friend so that you will feel comfortable with your conversations. Plan ahead and think about the topics you'd like to discuss during your first date. This gives you a sense of control knowing where to lead the conversations that would enhance the chances of a successful first date. Good examples for getting to know each other better include discussing your likes and dislikes, your work, friends, hobbies you enjoy and how you feel about what's going on in the world, etc. Keep the conversation light, but not too shallow. Don't hesitate to ask questions about your date as this will keep the conversation balanced. Just make sure it is appropriate with regards to the time and place.

Third, be on time. Arriving on time gives your date the impression that you are serious about meeting with him/her. Men, it is appropriate that you come earlier. Don't keep your date waiting. He/she may have other appointments after your date, and you don't want to waste his/her time by showing up late. If you are running a bit behind, it's a common courtesy to call your date to let them know that you will be a little bit late.

That's it - three tips on how to gain confidence to speak a foreign language. It's all a matter of how badly you want to speak a foreign language fluently. Learning languages isn't only about grammar or vocabulary, it's also about you and your communication skills. Work on your confidence every day and I'm pretty sure that you will quickly overcome your fear. Good luck!




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