Sunday, October 30, 2016

The Benefits Of Consulting A Couples Counselor In Bethesda

By Laura Cooper


The days when the norm was that two people meet, fall in love, go out for a while, become engaged and then marry and spend the rest of their lives together are long gone. Modern life places many demands on people and people in a close relationship often cannot cope with all the pressures they experience. However, when two people that committed themselves to each other decide to dissolve the relationship it may be worthwhile to first see a couples counselor in Bethesda.

Statistics show that modern relationships do not last as long as they used to. This is partly because society has become much more tolerant. Sex outside of marriage is no longer seen as a mortal sin and unmarried people commonly live together. Society has changed in other ways too. Women now pursue their own ambitions and it is not uncommon for the female partner to be professionally more successful than her partner. Many men find this intimidating.

In days gone by two people in a relationship would not dare to live together, but the rules have changed and society is much more tolerant. Unfortunately, many people commit to a shared domestic arrangement before they are truly ready for a serious commitment. These relationships often fall apart and because there is no legal bond between the parties separation is easily achieved and there are no legal repercussions.

When a relationship produced one or more children a separation becomes a much more serious issue. The rights of the children should be the highest priority at all times. Custodial issues can become extremely complex, especially if the parents are not married. Experts advise that people in such relationships at least agree to try counselling, if only to do what is best for the child.

There are many cases where people seek counselling simply because it is convenient for them to continue their relationship. This is especially true where the relationship has lasted a long time, where the partners jointly own property, investments and other assets and where no serious conflict exist. In many such cases both partners consult a counsellor simply to learn how to get along and how to avoid a serious rift from developing.

Many therapists agree that a large percentage of relationships flounder due to small differences, irritations and disagreements. The partners do not communicate properly and these small matters quickly become major issues. In such cases the counsellor can help both partners to identify the issues that caused a deterioration of their relationship and to see those issues in their proper perspective. The role of the counsellor is to act as facilitator, not to prescribe solutions.

There are cases where it is definitely better to end a relationship immediately. If one partner is abusive or aggressive it is best that the other party leave immediately. Sexual deviancy, ongoing substance abuse and a failure to make any form of contribution to the relationship are all also very clear and serious warning signs. This is also true for relationships that are in trouble but where one partner refuse to see a counsellor.

A loving, secure relationship serves as a haven where both partners feel loved, accepted, appreciated and valued. When the relationship fails to be a haven it is necessary to face the fact that something is wrong. In many cases counselling can help to identify the problems and to rebuild the safe haven.




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