Sunday, October 23, 2016

Some Ideas On Overcoming Hurt And Pain

By Shirley Martin


Emotional pain is something that many of us, if not all have had to endure at one point or the other. The source of the hurt is often an intimate partner, a close relative or friend. The unfortunate thing is that when not dealt with, this feeling has the potential to destroy all the aspects of our lives. There are a number of things that we can to help us with overcoming hurt and pain.

Appreciate that the process of dealing with this problem require lots of patience and hard work. The good news is that it can be done regardless of how bad your emotional wounds feel. One of the first things that you need to do as you embark on the healing process is to settle down so as to avoid impulsive behavior that is often destructive. Walk away from the situation and give yourself time before making any response.

Take time to reflect on the situation. Let the events play out in your mind taking note of what role you and the other party played in creating the conflict. Ask yourself whether you responded appropriately in the situation and whether there is any different way you would have acted. In some cases, the feelings may become even deeper at this point in time. The important thing is to remain calm and to exercise restraint.

Once you have reflected and have found some answers to your questions, plan to meet the person that you believe is responsible for your hurt. It may not always be possible to do this since in some situations there is an obvious intention to cause emotional pain. All the same, you should be ready to listen to them and to understand what it is exactly that they meant.

To avoid aggravating an already strained relationship, think carefully before you speak. Avoid getting too argumentative or aggressive. Even if you realize that the other person is the wrong, there is no point forcing them to apologize. This rarely works and even if they were to apologize it is not likely to be genuine. If they volunteer to apologize then be willing to forgive and to forget. Understand that people make mistakes from time to time.

At times, it is not possible to meet the people that wronged us and reconcile. They may be too hostile or the opportunity may be long gone. Even when this is the case, there are several things that we can do to get rid of the pain in our hearts. One of them is focusing our minds on the positive things that are happening in our lives. We may dwell to long in the past and forget to enjoy our blessings.

Accepting responsibility is another measure that you also need to consider. The hurt that people feel tends to be worse when they consider other people to be solely responsible for their problems. It helps to accept responsibility for the events that led to your current situation. It is only when you take full control that you can dictate what you feel now and in future.

Sharing problems is a step towards solving them. Talk about your feelings to someone who is willing to listen. Venting will help in getting rid of negative energies that may have built up over time. In addition, your confidant will not only give you their perspective of the situation but they will also suggest solutions that can work best in your situation.




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